So on October 8th, 2017 everything came to a standstill. I can remember randomly on a whim deciding to grab that lone pregnancy test in my bathroom and open it up...why? I honestly have no idea. I was only maybe a day or two late but just decided to take it for fun I guess? I honestly don't know. Anyways, fast forward nearly an hour later I had taken the test, set it down on the bathroom floor and honestly forgotten about it. I came back, picked up, and gasped. Two faint pink lines. STILLNESS. I told Ben who just kept saying, okay, okay, okay...haha we were both so caught off guard. We jumped in the car and ran to the drug store and probably spent $40 on pregnancy tests...all which said the same thing, we were expecting.
The emotions that followed that day are ones I will never forget. Brand new feelings I have never felt before. Unknown, fear of the unknown, excitement in the midst of the unknown, fear again, excitement, and on and on it goes. I will say that I have never been more amazed by something or in awe of the handiwork of our Father God in my entire life. My body is capable of growing a life and that is simply the most amazing and magical thing I have ever experienced.
I am now officially 20 weeks pregnant with our little girl, Caroline Elizabeth, and loving every minute. The first trimester, and really up until about 18 weeks, was very rough. I was so sick, barely able to keep food down and lost a lot of weight, but now at 20 weeks the sickness is pretty much gone, energy is coming back and I feel more like myself again which is an immense blessing. We chose the name Caroline simply because it struck me one day when I heard it said and I fell in love with it, I began dreaming of our daughter and knew, her name was supposed to be Caroline. Elizabeth was my precious Grammy's name and is my middle name. I loved and admired my Grammy so much and have always known my first daughter would carry her precious name. I pray our sweet Caroline can grow to be just like the woman that my grandmother was while she walked on this earth.
Since finding out we are having a girl I have begun to buy ALL. THE. BOWS. I seriously cannot help myself and know I am going to have to dig deep in the days and years ahead to find some self control when it comes to girl clothes and everything floral. It is just all so beautiful. I bought this sweet little onsie below the day we found out we were having a girl, and just think it is the most precious thing. So say a prayer for me for self control and grace from my husband on the shopping for all the things front! :)
I have already begun to plan out Caroline's nursery, and have been having way too much fun with this. Of course the designer in me had to create an inspiration board which you can find below. Her bedding will be all white, with a large custom made wooden sign above the bed and a felt garland drapped over it for some color. The sign is one thing I am the most excited about for the nursery...it will have Numbers 6:24-26 on it in a beautiful script font, which is the verse my own mother spoke over my siblings and I nearly every night as a prayer of blessing before we went to sleep. "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”’ We are planning to leave the walls the same color as they are now, Mindful Grey by Sherwin Williams, and really keep things very soft and neutral with minimal accents of coral, blush pink, and deep green.
Like I said, overall sickness is gone with the exceptions a day or two here and there every two weeks. Praise the good Lord above!! I have some pretty bad skin changes on my face, mainly just small non itchy bumps and lots of dryness which has taken some getting used to when it comes to how I apply makeup and such. YIKES! I have also had pretty terrible sinus issues, sooo much mucus! TMI? But overall, second trimester is a breeze compared to the first and I am super grateful for that!
- Weight Gain - Still have not gained any weight BUT I am really thankful to not have lost anymore. I lost over 20lbs to start with from all the sickness so it is a blessing to be at a steady spot now and maintaining weight.
- Stretch Marks - a few if I am being honest! Mainly on my hips but not so much on my belly...as of a few months ago I have been religious about applying lotion a few times a day!
- Maternity Clothes - Yes kinda, I am wearing maternity jeans because rubberbands aren't cutting it anymore, but I can still wear all my leggings and tops for the most part. I have had to break down and invest in new bras twice now...those girls just keep on growing! HA!
- Movement - YES! I have an anterior placenta so it has taken time to really feel much movement, and even now I do not feel her consistently throughout the day, but I definitely feel my sweet girl multiple times a day. I cannot wait for her little kicks and punches to be strong enough for Ben or feel from the outside, I have a feeling it won't be too much longer.
Overall, pretty normal. But bless my poor husband on the days I go slightly insane. I am either fine OR totally irritable and weepy for really no reason. So while I have always been a pretty emotional person this has taken that to a whole new level. Praise the Lord for grace within marriage and lots of humility during this process.
CRAVINGS / AVERSIONS
Still totally unable to eat plain chicken or really handle raw chicken to cook with. Your girl can go nuts on some fried chicken just not a plain piece of grilled or baked chicken for whatever reason. I have no cravings whatsoever for Mexican food and also cannot really deal with seafood. So we are eating lots of pasta, sausage instead of chicken and ground beef.
Cravings have been all the terrible things. Cheeseburgers, cheese fries (especially those from Outback and Steak N Shake), pickles (especially fried), Chick-Fil-A, and Cheetos! So random but all so intense. I have given myself a lot of grace on the eating front, after losing over 20lbs in the first trimester I am letting myself indulge some in what sounds good for now.
Like previously mentioned...all the girl things. I spend more time than I care to admit drooling over baby girl clothes and hair bows. I have found so much joy in designing Caroline's nursery and putting together our registry. Both tasks were overwhelming but I am happy with our decisions and more eager than ever to begin making some purchases and working on the nursery. You can view our registry here.
MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO
First and foremost I am most looking forward to having our house renovation at a stopping point. We are getting so close and Ben has worked so hard the last several months. We really just lack getting the butcher block top for the island cut and installed (we being BEN 100%) and then laying down all our hardwood floors. So I am hoping we will be done by April and able to turn our attention to the nursery at that point.
I am also looking forward to begin to make more purchases and check things off the list. So far our only big purchase has been the crib. So I cannot wait to begin really knocking some of the bigger things off our list.